[comics] Warren Ellis on Stan Lee: ‘That man wanted himself completely identified with Marvel and completely beloved, and did everything short of breaking into peoples’ houses and fucking them in the night to do it. To be honest, I’m sure he considered it and was talked out of it by nervous assistants. “By the hoary hosts of Hoggoth! I’ll do it! I shall dramatically decant myself into the beds of my best beloved brethren, the Mighty Marvel Mavens nationwide, and bring them all to outstandingly overwhelming orgasms with the purposefully pulsating penetrations of my — “‘

[year-end] The Guardian ponders the big questions for 2001… ‘Any chance Oasis will finally implode for good? British record companies should have a plaque reading “no more heroes” nailed over the front door. Whenever the biz trumpets its latest world-shaking phenomenon, you can guarantee it’ll go straight down the plughole. Richard Ashcroft has tumbled dramatically from rock’n’roll bard to po-faced bore. Ronan Keating has embraced premature middle age with disastrous consequences, and Oasis are only managing to cling on to the gossip columns for all the wrong reasons. Spectators relished Liam Gallagher’s yobbish spats with Robbie Williams and Patsy Kensit’s tearful reports of her life of misery. But the live album, Familiar To Millions, might more accurately have been called Dimly Recalled By Dozens.’

[film] Where in the world is Tyler Durden? Subliminal Tyler Durden’s from Fight Club…

[meat] Give me a Big Mac – but hold the beef. The Guardian takes a look at McDonalds in India… ‘As the stand-off between anti-globalists and multinationals continues, India has become the last great battleground. If McDonald’s can succeed here, without beef, it can succeed anywhere, so the reasoning goes. To woo customers, McDonald’s has devised a unique marketing strategy. India is the only country in the world where McDonald’s does not offer beef. With 140m Indian Muslims, pork is off the menu, too. This leaves chicken and mutton – the ingredient of McDonald’s flagship “Maharaja Mac”. There are other additions to the menu specifically designed to lure India’s middle-class – such as the tantalising McAloo Tikki burger. All foods are strictly segregated into vegetarian and non-vegetarian lines. Even the mayonnaise has no egg in it, so as not to offend India’s vegan sensibilities.’

[comics] The Slush Factory has a interesting interview with Evan Dorkin… ‘This entire industry is made up of fans… very few people come into comics form outside of comics. We get the best creators, retailers, marketers, and salesmen that the comics fan base can provide. That’s limiting a lot of people. Graphic designers, we are getting some of the best people… sometimes we get some terrific people. Most of the time we get “I was always a fan, I always wanted to have my own store. I was always a fan, I always wanted to have my own comic.”‘

[comics] Kathleen reads Watchmen for the first time… ‘On Christmas Day 2000 I finally read Watchmen for the first time. I tried to stretch out the book over several days but I found I couldn’t put it down for more than an hour at a time. I became anxious and snappy whenever anybody interrupted me from my reading for matters as inconsequential as eating. That’s because ten years late I have learned what everyone else in the world already knew: Watchmen is fucking good.’ I was lucky (old) enough to pick up the original issues. There was the longest delay between issue 11 and 12. Waiting for that last issue almost killed me…

[weblogs] The Haddock Directory redesigns…. it’s been around for yonks… and I’ve been ripping it off for links for as long as I can remember. ‘This directory is compiled from URLs posted to the mostly-London-based Haddock mailing list since September 1996. There are currently 8129 links (not counting those known to be broken) and each is accompanied by a comment from the person who posted it.’

[war is hell] Playing with Cobras comes up with a great link covering the life and work of Sven Hassel…. writer of many great books about War…. ‘Sven Hassel’s novels have a major effect on one’s outlook vis-à-vis life. Take a quick read through one of the books and you will find that you suddenly have absolutely no respect for authority, a rabid distrust of anything political, religious or dull and a healthy craving for beer, cheating at cards and very large ladies. Your culinary skills will suddenly be in great demand and you will never want to go to sleep again. You will not consider Saving Private Ryan to be in any way a realistic interpretation of war.’

[LinkMachineOff]. Right… Happy Christmas everybody…especially to all of LMG’s regular readers and anybody coming off Google searching for websites dealing with nude pictures of Amanda Holden or Charlie Dimmock. You won’t find any of that here but I extend my hand in Christmas greetings…. as long as you wash yours first. That’s it. Back next week….

[weblogs] Luke’s Christmas Message: ‘…a bodypainted woman wearing a large box walked up. Some vampy number was played, and she proceeded to take off the big box, revealing three smaller, strategically-placed boxes which were, in turn, removed to reveal naught but naked flesh. All well and good. It wasn’t until she pulled a yard of tinsel out of herself that I started to worry.’ :) :)

[comics] Okay… a last couple of comic links before Christmas… Go check out Dylan Horrocks website, read Understanding Hicksville, a review of his best comic and then buy a copy at Amazon…. ‘The story, with its layers of flashbacks, and jaunts into comic strips within the comic strip, defies synopsis. It is organized along the lines of a Gothic tale, following a fanboy comics journalist and his discovery of an isolated rural town, the Hicksville of the title, that is protecting a secret. As we meet the town’s various denizens, Hicksville grows into a comment on art and people that exist in the margins of history.’

[interesting metaphor] BBC News profiles the major players in British politics as pantomime characters… ‘William Hague, unfortunately, has been likened to Aladdin. He was down on his luck, unloved and alone when he suddenly discovered his magic lamp. Trouble was when he rubbed it, rather than a genie leaping out to fulfil his every political desire, he got Michael Portillo. The new shadow chancellor immediately went around tearing up all Aladdin’s policies and refusing to get back into his lamp. He now hovers over Mr Hague’s shoulder insisting there is no way he wants his job.’

[comics] Suffering Sappho! Salon looks at Wonder Woman and her new artist/writer Phil Jiminez…. ‘Sitting in the catbird seat of the comic-book world, Jimenez remains refreshingly guileless. At a midtown Manhattan signing in late November, he warmly greeted scores of fans who could be slammed for forgetting to get a life. Better-known artists, he said, too often exhibit an unwarranted haughtiness toward fans. “The strange thing about my industry is how so many people are unpleasant,” he lamented. “We’re comic-book people; we’re not that important.”‘

[music] Eminem Vs Bob The Builder. :) ‘Then I got an email from Tim Ireland (hello Tim) who put one of those dangerous propositions to me; What would happen if Bob took on Eminem in a full on 12 round musical punch up ? Well, armed only with a copy of a computer program called ACID and several cans of bitter I set about the task of sellotaping the two contenders together and a couple of hours later the job was done.’

[tedious autobiography] Tonight I was here — the Small and Beautiful in Kilburn. Highly recommended… great food, cheap, very relaxing… ‘We began with the Moules Mariniere (steamed mussels in garlic, lemon, parlsey and white wine) and the sublime Baked Red Peppers, which are stuffed with fetta cheese. Highlights of the main menu are the Char-grilled Tuna Steak, with a sauce of anchovies, capers and butter; and the Rigatone Verde, a risotto with spinach and cream.’

[politics] Senior Tory regrets Spice joke. I’m surprised this piece of Tory ignorance did not get wider coverage — but who stares at a snow flake in a blizzard? The joke in full from the Guardian: ‘Liam wandered around the room, perhaps having had one or two and being full of Christmas cheer. “Have you heard my new joke?” he puppyishly asked a group of people. “What do you call three dogs and a blackbird?” No one knew. “The Spice Girls,” said Liam. Embarrassed shuffling ensued, but either misinterpreting this as collective deafness or perhaps out of exuberant delight at his own wit, Liam told it again.’

[comics] Fandom.com looks back at Grant Morrison’s Animal Man…. ‘Safe to say, it was a Morrison story, so there was tragedy – brutal tragedy that came as a total shock. But there were also revelations about the universe, theoretical physics, cosmology, suffering, redemption, discovery, and, of course, a touch of peyote. For readers who`d been with the series since it`s beginning, the beginning of Morrison`s final run was incredibly cohesive. Mirror Master`s attack back in issue #8 was of key importance to what Animal Man was about to go through. His revenge was swift and horrible, and at the same time, satisfying, but hollow, leaving Animal Man saying to Mirror Master at the end of issue #21, “I can fix it. I can fix it all. I`ve had an idea. A time machine. All I need is a time machine. I can fix everything.”‘ [Related Links: grant-morrison.com, TimeMachineGo]

[online animation] Warren Ellis does a trailer for an online film called Bad Places… ‘Murder scenes are messy. Just ask Mike Charon, a detective who has seen the worst that killing has to offer. Inevitably, Charon gets called on every D.O.A. He’s the one who sees the stabbings and shootings before the coroner.’

[comics] Alan Moore watches the K Foundation burn a million quid… ‘I think we’re moving towards some sort of paradigm shift, or massive collective mental breakdown some huge step of some kind; a basic change in our thinking. In politics, religions and the various structures we have built up, the world not the planet but the idea of the world we’ve created is likely, at least conceptually, to go up in flames the end of the world figuratively, but not apocalyptically not like a traditional notion of Armageddon. Maybe we’ve always imagined it’s going to collapse I’m not trying to be millennial about this I don’t see ‘the destruction and end of the world’, that chimera that we always seem to dangle over ourselves. Rather around this juncture of history when all of our systems are unstable and teetering towards this point of climax and collapse, we should consider the speed at which our culture is learning.’ [Related Links: Alan Moore: Magician, The K Foundation: Why We Burnt A Million Pounds]

[reading] Just finished The New New Thing by Michael Lewis. ‘…in a 1994 issue of the Journal of Development Economics Romer wrote, “Once we admit that there is room for newness – that there are vastly more conceivable possibilites than realized outcomes – we must confront the fact that there is no special logic behind the world we inhabit, no particular justification for why things are the way they are. Any number of arbitrarily small peturbations along the way could have made the world as we know it turn out very differently . . . We are forced to admit that the world as we know it is the result of a long string of chance outcomes.’

[conspiracy] What is a crazyveigh? ‘The truth must be told! I’m sorry, Timothy, but I can’t be quiet anymore! The reason Timothy has been quiet for so long is because the day he was arrested, A microscopic chip was inserted into the lower part of his left ear! This chip not only tortured him by playing death metal and christmas classics but it made him unable to speak. Then thin slices of razor blades were inserted between his liver and urapoopilikeno causing sharp pains to travel through his hands every time he was near paper! Timothy is really the son of God’ [via Follow Me Here]

[politics] Francis Wheen in the Guardian — John Redwood on William Hague: ‘After talking to Hague during the second leadership ballot in 1997, Redwood confided that he had “had more interesting conversations with a bathroom sponge”. When Hague was subsequently elected, Redwood said: “They have actually chosen the worst of all the six candidates.” On another occasion, he described Hague as looking like “a very old baby”. If this is Redwood’s idea of being nice, what is he like when he turns nasty?’

[linkmachinego] Where LinkMachineGo and TimeMachineGo come from… The Invisibles by Grant Morrison. ‘…Mason receives a fax from one of his researchers in San Francisco reading ‘Time Machine Go.’ This interests Robin. Once in SF, Jack and Fanny are sent on a mission to collect the Hand of Glory. They meet the mysterious Pierrot and Columbine in a nightclub, whilst King Mob meets his ex Jacqui for a massage and an argument about his motives and his actions. At the offices Mason’s researcher Takashi explains that his breakthrough is to think of time as a single place, if you build a machine that can go ‘up’ above time, it can then choose its own re-entry point.’ [Related Links: grant-morrison.com, Barbelith – from Tom Coates.]

[film] Excellent collection of articles from Time covering Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. ‘As the sage said: dying is easy, filmmaking is hard. But everyone was so serious on Crouching Tiger because Lee, who made his reputation with adult dramas-of-manners like The Wedding Banquet and Sense and Sensibility, had a child inside screaming to get out. He was finally ready to pay homage to his lifelong ardor for martial-arts novels and pictures. He had made beautiful films; now he would bend his considerable artistry to make, dammit, a movie.’

[weblogs] The Barbelith Collective — the weblog for ‘cool egghead stoner motherfuckers’.

[ad] Great spoof of the White Horses Guinness advert…. [requires Quicktime]

[am i this or not?] Tell me… am I REALLY A STIFF or NOT?

[eminem hoax] Another Eminem is dead hoax using Ananova this time… ‘Mathers, who authorities believe was under the influence of alcohol or drugs, was behind the wheel of a Saturn coupe that witnesses say swerved to avoid a slow moving vehicle, then lost control and slammed into a grove of trees. The car was crumpled by the impact, making extraction of Mather’s body very difficult. He was declared dead on the scene by paramedics who arrived a short time later.’ [Related Links: Explanation here?, Ananova link via Wacky Brit]

[hoax] Very well done hoax. Claims that Eminem was killed in car crash. Had me fooled for about a minute this morning….

[comics] Time picks the Best Comics of 2000. [via Comix Mailing List]