[soap] Who Shot Me? The Guardian interviews Steve McFadden (Phil Mitchell). ‘”Working-class interests are not seen as having the same intrinsic value as middle-class ones. Opera is a middle-class interest, and it’s seen as high art. “I don’t see that as being of more worth than getting 20 million people to watch Roy tell Pat that her earrings are horrible.” He is referring to a seminal moment of ordinary pain when, as their relationship disintegrated, Pat Butcher’s husband took her to task over her gruesome jewellery. “I think that’s much more poignant, when a man tells a woman: ‘All this time I’ve lived with your earrings but they do my head in, and I’m man enough now to tell you I can’t cope with them anymore.’ It really took my breath away, that.”‘

[hero] Design you own Sports / Super / Fantasy Heroes at HeroMachine. [via PopBitch]

[blogs] I’ve been remiss in not mentioning that Tom Ewing’s Blue Lines has returned — renamed as Groke…. ‘I’m already having awful template trouble, though. You can’t go home again.’

[rail] The Guardian studies the story behind the cracked rail which caused the Hatfield train disaster…. ‘The public mood, so far as one can tell, would like big fish in the net and a charge of corporate manslaughter. That is unlikely; as someone close to the Hatfield investigation said to me, you would need to find a piece of paper with such improbable words written on it as “Do not repair this track, we can’t afford it. Yrs sincerely, The Fat Controller.” More likely is a charge of manslaughter – culpable homicide – against individuals lower down the ladder, or their prosecution for a breach of the Health and Safety at Work Act.’

[politics] The Guardian interviews Michael Helseltine — another politician retiring at the next election…. ‘If you push your hair forward, how far would it go, I ask. My bet is that it would hang off his chin. “I haven’t the first idea.” Go on, try it. “No, I shan’t. I certainly won’t try it.” Go on. “No, not at all. “I didn’t always want long hair. I just had long hair. There was no conscious decision.” Come off it, hair length is a choice! “You can have a passive choice.” Laziness? “Yeeeeaassss. Indifference.” Indifference!’

[comics] Another comic-related weblog ComicGeek. Looks pretty comprehensive…

[chat] The Barbelith Underground has returned…. the bulletin board for ‘cool egghead stoner motherfuckers’.

[weblog performance anxiety] I love it when a plan comes together. Actually, a random drunken post comes together…. ‘In soothing tones, they will be ready to assist you with a selection of web links of various types – witty, profound, bizarre or even “all your base are belong to us”, if you’re really at the end of your mental tether with desperation. They can also be consulted about the news stories that you should be commenting on, or give you advice on how far you should go into details about various aspects of your personal life (rest assured that the trained advisors have a selection of metaphors or suitable quotes to hand, which you can use to comment knowingly but without fear of giving away sensitive information). In short, it’s the essential service for any tired and emotional blogger.’ [thanks to Vaughan]

[tedious autobiography] Doing a linklog is very difficult sometimes… I often have Weblog Performance Anxiety*…. but if you spend the day drinking champagne cocktails in a bar with Mini-Me your tedious life becomes easy to blog… Goodnight! ‘Talk to the hand… ‘cos the face ain’t listening…’
* The anxious feeling a weblogger gets when other blogs they read casually update through out the day and all the sufferer of WPA can come up with is a link to a story about interest rates or something equally boring…

[comics] Superheroes are evil ‘Let’s start with Superman. The Bible never mentions life in other planets. But Superman is not from Earth; he is from Krypton. This fact alone goes contradicts the Bible. And the horror continues. Superman is raised on Earth and grows up to become a superhero. People all over the Earth start worshipping this mysterious character. And where is Jesus in this picture? Superman never mentions God or Jesus. He is probably an atheist. And people in Metropolis see him as their Lord and Savior.’ [thanks Pete]

(Manually Published yesterday)

[services] Blogger is down so don’t expect any updates today….

[random link for no apparent reason] On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. ‘He had a lot of guts’ — James Bond.

What a nightmare updating by hand is… I’m going back to bed. :)

[comics] Who’s hotter? Grant Morrison or Warren Ellis? Let the fans decide…. ‘I suggest you take this down. Now.’ — Ellis. [via WEF]

[politics] Dogged as does it — interesting profile of William Hague from a reporter who followed him around for a week…. ‘Hague works his way around the room, shaking hands, signing autographs, having his photograph taken next to candidates for the local council elections. I overhear a woman say, ‘Taller than you think, isn’t he?’ A man with a pound sign in his lapel says: ‘Isn’t that Seb Coe over by the door?’ It is. When I wander over to join Coe he says, ‘I’ve just remembered I was once kicked out of this bar when I was a student.’ (Drunken revelries, apparently. These Tories never pass up a chance to show that their formative years were ‘normal’.)’

[comics] Jack Chick vs. Freemasonary. There can be only one winner…. JESUS!

[politics] As the UK elections approach it’s important to know which party the major cartoon characters are supporting. (By the way, Porky the Pig was slaughtered and burned earlier this week… so I suspect he’s not supporting Nick Brown any longer.) [thanks to Marcia]

[comics] 90 Christian Comics Tracts by Jack T. Chick! on sale at Ebay…. ‘I remember … reading 70 tracts in one sitting and being completely convinced I had wasted my life and was going straight to hell. … It’s a truly powerful experience to have this guy yelling at you for 70 tracts.’ ? Dan Clowes, comic book artist. [Related Links: This Was Your Life!, Chick Publications]

[movies] Another memoir about Stanley Kubrick — this time from Wendy Carlos who did the soundtracks for The Shining and A Clockwork Orange…. ‘You can understand why recent attempts since his death to paint a revisionist (revisionary “historians” — right out of Orwell — feh!) image of Kubrick as some kind of warm and fuzzy fond old uncle are both ignorant and bizarre. The world has plenty of avuncular supportive seniors already. What’s in short supply in the world is Stanley Kubricks: artists who will spare no effort to do work of the highest caliber. Yes, it’s impractical, and not a role most artists are able to inhabit with comfort, unless you command the respect and financial support system he needed.’ [thanks Luke]

[cartoon] Steve Bell on the Foot and Mouth Crisis…. ‘Contented Farmer at Twelve O’Clock!’

[conspiracy] It comes as no surprise that David Icke has plenty to report on the Foot and Mouth Crisis… ‘Here we have yet more evidence that the Foot and Mouth “crisis” has been manufactured from the start. The question is…did the UK government call these timber merchants because they already knew that there was an outbreak long before it was officially revealed, or because they knew one was about to start through artificial means? I strongly suspect the latter to say the least.’ [Related Link: Foot-and-mouth ‘cover up’ denied]

[politics] tothepolls.com launches…. a ‘Balanced News Filter for the UK General Election’.

[movies] The truth about Kubrick. ‘…although one of the few critical remarks is Woody Allen’s statement that he was utterly baffled by 2001: A Space Odyssey the first time he saw it. Introducing a new 70mm copy of the film in London earlier this week, Harlan tried to help out. “On a bad day Kubrick wouldn’t answer the question. But on a good day I think he might have said the film was made by an ignoramus about the unknowable. He might have said – if he didn’t think it was too pompous – that he wanted to take the audience into a place that he actually couldn’t imagine himself all that well. He was really a self-taught and very learned man and he guessed that, even then, he knew very little. He wasn’t at all religious but he had a very strong sense that there were mysteries, within and outside our world, that he could never begin to solve.”‘

[blog meme] Write your URL on a Fiver Day! ‘is it a criminal offence to write on money? i dunno. possibly. but i remember reading about a bloke who wrote on a five pound note, spent it and got it handed back to him 300 miles away when he was on holiday.’

[comic] Some great postings on Dave Sim Vs. Jeff Smith at the Comicon message board from industry insiders like Colleen Doran, Stephen Bissette and Rick Veitch…. Doran’s comments are particularly insightful (click on the linked pages and scroll down looking for postings from “Colleen”). Doran: ‘What is the essence of Dave Sim? What is at his core? This man wants to be history, not a footnote in history. He wants to be big. He wants to be important. He is terrified that Cerebus, his life’s work, the primary focus of his waking hours for decades, will be marginalized, dismissed, stuck on the back shelf. Dave’s immortality is Cerebus and he is terrified he will not live forever. He is apalled that others, whom he perceives to be less worthy, will. That includes people like Picasso and Hemingway.’ [Related Link: Cerebus Fan Site]

[religion] Is this the face of Christ? ‘The BBC used a combination of 2,000-year-old Jewish skulls and ancient religious images to generate what it claims is the first “true-to-life” picture of Jesus Christ.’ [Related Links: Large image of Real Life Christ, Metafilter Posting]

[tv] The Guardian interviews Mary Whitehouse. ‘On Wednesday mornings, the hairdresser visits. And at lunchtime, the dining room of the Essex nursing home is a sea of high set curls. Mary Whitehouse surveys the wispy throng with a gimlet eye, then leans across the table. Her huge bead necklace swings precariously close to the plate of brown stew and swedes boiled senseless. “Some of these dears don’t have much hair to do,” she whispers.’

[collectibles] The Onion reports that Everything In Entire World Now Collectible. ‘Rarity, once a prerequisite for an item to have collector’s value, is no longer relevant. An early sign of this shift occurred in the early ’90s, when Marvel Comics encouraged fans to pre-order multiple copies of the much-hyped “Todd McFarlane’s Spider-Man #1” because of the book’s anticipated collector’s value. The issue sold more copies than any comic book in history, but fans still hoarded multiple copies in special dust-proof Mylar bags, in part because of its unique status as the least rare comic book ever. “Rarity is nothing. Do you have any idea how many Beanie Babies are out there?” asked Barbara Mason, editor of Beanie Baby Illustrated. “Let’s put it this way: There are approximately twice as many Scoop The Pelican Beanie Babies on the planet Earth than there are actual pelicans. And they’re worth more, too.”‘

[movies] The Independent profiles Steven Soderbergh just before the Oscars on Sunday Night. ‘Chances are it is Monday morning, not Sunday night, that Soderbergh is most looking forward to. With him, it is always the work that counts, nothing else. (As he once wrote: “The fun part is making them. The rest is crap.”) He’s built quite a reputation for himself as the ascetic about Hollywood ? working constantly, focussing everyone’s attention on the film and the film alone, dodging the studio politics, shooting fast with relatively few takes, coming in on time and under budget, doing the publicity rounds quickly and politely, and then moving on to the next project.’ [Related Links: Soderbergh at IMDB, Ocean’s Eleven at Upcoming Movies]

[comics] Disinfo has the transcript of Grant Morrison’s interview with Richard Metzger (which has on Channel 4 a couple of months ago). ‘WOOOOOOOOOW! Here we are! Right! Fuck man, I tell you when I was a kid I read Robert Anton Wilson and all this shit and here we are, we’re standing here, talking about this shit and it’s real! OK, I’m pissed (Holds up red beaker.) and in half an hour I’m gonna come up on drugs, so watch for it!(Audience laughter.) I guess, I don’t know, is there any practising magicians in the audience? Put your hand up if we got any? Yeah? Come on! (Puts his hand up.) Bold! OK, a few. OK, by the time we finish this you’re all going to be practising magicians. This shit’s easy right?’ [Related Links: Grant Morrison’s Website, TimeMachineGo, Barbelith]

[distraction] The McSweenifier. ‘A Method for Formatting Arbitrary Text In the Style of the Popular Internet Journal “McSweeney’s”.’ [via FOAF]

[distraction] If you want a serious laugh check out… Cliff Yablonski Hates You. ‘jesus christ, you whiny little bitches need to go out and get a life for gods sake. all I get is “WAH, CLIFF, UPDATE YOUR PAGE, IM TIRED OF JACKING OFF TO THE ABC NEWS ALL DAY, WAH, UPDATE YOUR PAGE.” fuck you all. I hate you. Ive updated my fucking page, so shut the hell up you mongrel bastards.’