8 August 2003
[science] You Ask The Questions — Michael Crichton … ‘Q: In ER, what is wrong with Kerry Weaver’s leg? A: I’m sorry, but that’s confidential between doctor and patient.’
7 August 2003
[24] The Second Coming — a profile of Kiefer Sutherland. ‘…he met the actress Julia Roberts and they became engaged, but she jilted him shortly before their wedding and fled to Ireland with his best friend, Jason Patric. His life spiralled downwards, with rumours of bar fights and drinking bouts. Later his film career fell into the doldrums, with a string of instantly forgettable movies. So he made the radical decision to take time out and became a cowboy on the rodeo circuit. After a few years and several trophies (he won the United States Team Roping Championships twice), the allure of Hollywood drew him back to acting.’ [Related: BBC’s 24 Site | 24 Weblog]
25 July 2003
[tv] The Princess and the Pea-Brain — Nancy Banks-Smith reviews Channel 4’s James Hewitt: Confessions of a Cad … ‘Charm is nature’s Teflon and Hewitt is very charming. It is quite easy to feel sorry for him and the pretty pickle he finds himself in. Emma Stewardson, a girlfriend he ran in tandem with Princess Diana, still looks after his old wolfhound, Tess. Hewitt keeps her picture in pride of place. Tess, that is, not Emma.’
23 June 2003
[web] Some recent interesting Barbelith threads:
- Promethea #26 … ‘This issue was ridiculously cool.’
- Barbelith. (Warren) Ellis. Cameron (Stewart) (and Fatbeards) … ‘ I am using the term “fatbeard” in an inclusive, spread-the-love term, as a reader of comic books myself (a closer reading may have noticed that nobody has actually mentioned liking or disliking particular comic books in this thread yet). As you say, I am posting about comic books on the Internet. I am clearly of the fatbeard nation. I get to use the term, you don’t, to paraphrase Richard Pryor. Except of course you do, because you are also posting about comic books on the Internet.’
- Sporanos Series 4 Discussion … ‘A wig!’
12 June 2003
[bb4] Ebay Auction: johntickle.com — currently at £510 with 3 days to go and it’s misspelt … ‘You are bidding for the complete ownership and management of JOHNTICKLE.COM. Due to a certain persons popularity in a certain Channel 4 production, this domain name is going to be very popular and will attract a LOT of visitors.’
11 June 2003
[bb4] Jon’s Geek Army — Jon Tickle fanpage … ‘Chosen by God, Loved by Women.’ [Related: Jontical]
31 May 2003
[bb4] Jon’s Website (of rather interesting things and little known facts) … ‘The universe is like, well big and is made up of loads of galaxies. Galaxies contain stars which are rather like our sun. Molecular structure differs but their intrinsic function is very often similar. Stars can die. Like people, but with less crying. It is my ambition to be an inter-galactic Jedi.’
27 May 2003
[bb4] Jon Tickle on Women: ‘You have only one prize to pick — and you know there are, let’s say, 30 prizes on the conveyor belt. They are coming through one at a time. But what makes you stop the conveyor belt and say you want a prize? The mathematical way is to look at the first ten items — the first third. Then the first thing you see out of the next two thirds is better than anything you have seen before. Because if the first ten items are spread evenly on the good or bad scale, you will get a few things in the 90 per cent area. It’s unlikely you are going to get the 100 per cent best item in your first third. So pick the best thing in the next two thirds. Then you’re going to get something pretty good.’
12 February 2003
[tv] The Hair Apparent — Charlie Higson discusses turning Swiss Toni into a sitcom. ‘…Swiss is a man who has invented his own persona in order to deal with the world. A lot of people do this, they create a character for themselves which they can hide behind. The comedy comes from the gap between how Swiss thinks the world perceives him and how he really is. He’s a man putting up a suave, sophisticated front while behind it everything crumbles to dust. So he has an over-the-top look, voice and manner, but somewhere there’s a frightened little boy peering out at the world from inside this glossy suit of armour.’
11 December 2002
[tv] Deconstructing Tony — academics take on the Sopranos … ‘He is the American Everyman, the embodiment of ruthless free-market capitalism, the defining figure of balding fat manhood in midlife crisis, and much else besides. It’s no wonder Gandolfini stoops, carrying that weight of symbolism around on his shoulders. That Tony also visits a shrink to discuss his problems, and that shrink in turn visits another shrink to discuss the problem of seeing Tony, makes him even more a target for intellectuals than he is for rival gangsters or the feds. Not only does he face imminent destruction but also endless deconstruction.’ [via Sashinka]
4 December 2002
[tv] Something I was wondering about today… Did Magnum, P.I. ever Jump the Shark?
‘This show never jumped because of these three words: JONATHAN QUAYLE HIGGINS!’
3 December 2002
[distraction] Ralph Wiggum Soundboard … ”I saw Principle Skinner and Mrs. Krobapple in the closet making babies, and I saw one of the babies, and one of the babies looked at me!!!’ [via Lukelog]
19 November 2002
[distraction] Buffy Cult Trumps — Buffy Top Trumps from BBC Cult … ‘Ever wanted to find out what would happen if Buffy fought Giles? Or wondered if Xander or Oz is the cutest? Now you can find out with our fun card game. Pit yourself against the computer, and find out if you know your Buffy well enough to win.’ [via Bullets]
16 November 2002
12 November 2002
[quote] ‘But I don’t understand! I don’t understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she’s, there’s just a body, and I don’t understand why she just can’t get back in it and not be dead anymore! It’s stupid! It’s mortal and stupid! And, and Xander’s crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever, and she’ll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why.’
5 November 2002
[tv] Stick It Up Your Chuffer! — a memorial page for Edmund Trebus … ‘He reached the public consciousness in the BBC documentary A Life Of Grime which showed his heroic determination to hoard what most people call rubbish in his house and garden.’
31 October 2002
[tv] 24 Continues to Thrill — Jack Bauer is having another bad day. ‘…the star of the show remains federal agent Bauer, played to understated perfection by Kiefer Sutherland. We catch up with Bauer a year after he has left the government counter-terrorism unit he once headed. He is a mess – still mourning the death of his pregnant wife at the hands of his former lover and also dealing with the fact his daughter Kim wants nothing to do with him.’
1 October 2002
[tv] Funny Business — profile of Ricky Gervais / David Brent … ‘Brent might initially appear to be one of a long line of characters frustrated by their circumstances, from Hancock through Basil Fawlty to Partridge. Even the gentle surrealism of Father Ted offered the decent, eternally trapped Ted Crilly. But Brent is no mere barrel of neuroses. Rather, he’s a well-meaning buffoon, insecure rather than unsatisfied, forever debasing himself in a vain attempt to curry favour amongst his long suffering minions. “He’s confused popularity — not that he is popular — with respect,” says Gervais, clearly fond of his excruciating creation.’ [Related: The Office]
29 September 2002
[sundays] A couple of interesting articles from the Observer …
- The Secret Passion that Staggered Westminster … ‘Back to Basics has come back yet again to haunt him, a phrase that must now go down as the most unfortunate, misinterpreted and now clearly misjudged three-word soundbite ever. It was launched at the Conservative conference of 1993. Currie was in the hall. ‘I listened in absolute amazement,’ she said. ‘And if you’re asking me whether I thought that policy was a mistake, absolutely. Not least because it was very cruel to people who were otherwise excellent Ministers, who didn’t deserve to have the magnifying glass turned on their lives at that time by their own leader. If it had been my choice, we would have had a very different policy. It was going against the tone of the times and it was also handled in an extremely cruel fashion. ‘It was cruel to single parents, it was cruel to women left on their own with children, it was pompous and facetious and stupid.’ And, a fact the public only know now, the height of hypocrisy.’
- Don’t Laugh. This is the Real Office — A visit to a real office in Slough … ‘ I have come to the people at Swan to find out what they think of the programme and whether any of them resemble the grotesques on screen. And, of course, they don’t, Gervais’s comedy being a fierce distillation of every lousy trait – jealousy, ambition, self-deception, witty ties – found in every office in every town in Britain today. Instead, their chat represents fairly perfectly the minutiae of life in what Napoleon should more accurately have called a nation of service-sector retail distribution outlet co-workers: house prices, last night’s TV, the drive to work and the perennial search, in Europe’s biggest trading estate, for a decent lunchtime sandwich.’
24 September 2002
[tv] A Star in Geek’s Clothing — profile of Mackenzie Crook (Gareth from The Office) … ‘Crook modestly plays down his character’s part in the second series — “Gareth would be happy with the status quo and so it’s right that he doesn’t develop as much as other characters” — and then lets slip a storyline development that will surely cause many guffaws (as well buttock-clenching moments of embarrassment) this time around. “He becomes a bit of a ladies’ man — women I’m sure he meets down Chasers nightclub — and the others wonder if he’s making it up. It’s excruciating but there are poignant moments as well.”‘
20 August 2002
[tv] The Dirty Truth — the inside story on Steptoe and Son. ‘…the two actors’ real-life relationship was [..] bizarre – and even more fraught – than their on-screen one. Wilfrid Brambell was gay and an alcoholic, notorious for his outrageous behaviour (on one infamous occasion he exposed himself to a woman at a party). He routinely told adoring fans who met him in the street to “fuck off”. Harry H Corbett was a womaniser who hated his role in Steptoe and died a bitter and disappointed man. When Steptoe finished in 1974, Corbett loathed Brambell. Within three years, the feeling was mutual.’
18 August 2002
[tv] 24 Dreaming … ‘Right now, prawns are plotting to send love letters to a loud albino. My window and leg are raging, and salads that I work with may be rudimentary. I’m Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most minty surfboard of my life.’ [via Sore Eyes]
17 August 2002
[tv] The Long Day Closes — Media Guardian on 24 as the last episode is screened on BBC2 tomorrow … ‘To say that Jack Bauer has been having a bad day is like dismissing the second world war as a little local difficulty.’
12 August 2002
[bb3] The voice of Big Brother — interview with the narrator of BB3 … ‘”Chickens.” It is quite a thrill. Say it again, I ask. “Chickens.” For some reason, this pleases me no end. As an added bonus, he continues in familiar Geordie tones: “Day 44 in the Big Brother house.” I clap my hands. I am having a conversation with the voice of Big Brother. And I can see his lips move.’
29 July 2002
[tv] Enough of Big Bruv – for now — comment from Barbara Ellen … Even though I’ve been disenchanted for several weeks, there I was on Thursday, watching again as moody model Alex issued a quasi-Shakespearean speech from the bottom of the Big Brother staircase. Priceless. It was all about his regrets: Regretting coming in, regretting staying in, regretting everything. A broken man apologising to himself and the nation, a bit like Hamlet with designer face fuzz and hair gel. Watching him, swaying about in self-pitying grandeur, you couldn’t help but think: Excuse me, you have regrets? How do you think I feel? How do you think any viewers feel?’ [Related: Big Bro 3 – The Last Night]
24 July 2002
[bb3] It’s Imperative that I spot any Nudity — behind the scenes at the Press Agency covering Big Brother 3 … ‘Rob Kelly, 21, works for a press agency, Kent News and Pictures. For the last eight weeks, he’s watched Big Brother for 12 hours a day. His eyes must not leave the screen. If he needs the loo, someone stands in. Every three to four minutes, he fills in a log of the housemates’ activity. When his shift finishes at 9am, another “monitor” immediately takes over for the next 12 hours until Kelly resumes his watch at 9pm.’
23 July 2002
[bb3] Baying For Blood — Why the press hates Jade and has the tide turned? ‘Jade Goody is poor. She is badly educated and not terribly bright, and so she says remarkably silly things such as “East Angular? That’s abroad. Is there not a place called East Angular abroad?” Her father is in prison, her mother is disabled, and she has admitted to shoplifting when she was younger. She is also of mixed race, which accounts for the distinctive, full features which have seen her lambasted for not being sufficiently “English rose” for the nation’s sensibilities. But – perhaps most importantly – most of the criticism that has been targeted at Jade, explicitly or not, is because she is a woman.’
22 July 2002
[bb3] In It to Win It — Brian Sewell discusses Tim … ‘Tim, 100 per cent, is a humourless wimp with no sense of fun, no ability to let slip the middle class inhibitions that so undermine his frail sense of security. Not for Tim a knockabout race with supermarket trolleys (his hair might be disarrayed), not for Tim a venture into uncomely drunkenness, not for Tim a romp of any kind, for this is a boy still dominated by the suburban manners of his mother, a boy who in his own esteem has stumbled onto the stage of a farcical pantomine.’
10 July 2002
[tv] Big Brother, Where Art Thou? — comment on the success of Big Brother 3. More people are watching it but the media frenzy around it has died down … Peter Bazalgette: ‘Big Brother has moved out into populist television. You can’t read the runes after one set of viewing figures but if – and I stress if – we have reached the so-called ‘tipping point’ of the show [Malcolm Gladwell’s description for ‘that moment in an epidemic when a virus reaches critical mass’], we will now start to hear negative remarks from the people who originally lauded it for being a cult revelation.’
6 July 2002
[bb3] Meanwhile, in the Big Brother House …
Adele – “If you want me to be there when you come out will you tell them?”
Alex – “Look, I’ll tell them there is no problem you being there, but don’t just come down for no reason.. just if you want to…”
Adele – “mmmm…” (smooch)
Alex – “… it’s no problem… but I just don’t want you to come down for…”
Adele – “not at all”
Alex – “… no reason”
Alex – (muffled in Adele’s shoulder) “I can’t believe it… I CAN’T”
Adele – “I just… I had a bad feeling… I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know”
Adele – “Do I look fat?”
3 July 2002
[tv] Deconstructing Buffy — why academics can’t get enough of Buffy … ‘This is what attracts the intellectuals: the fact that Buffy the Vampire Slayer allows you to choose whether you are going to wallow in mindless, soapy action, or indulge yourself in the luxury of thought. Either way, it is wonderful.’ [via prolific.org]
1 July 2002
[films] TV Picks of the Week — brief reviews of films on TV this week… Bullitt: ‘Steve McQueen’s laconic San Francisco cop, Frank Bullitt, was a role model for many a detective to come, and so cool he makes Clint’s Dirty Harry look hysterical. But McQueen also makes the character believable; a committed man who feels genuine anger at the corrupt politician (Robert Vaughn) he doggedly trails, while embroiled in a realistically shaky relationship with girlfriend Jacqueline Bisset. The celebrated car chase, up and over the hilly Frisco streets, was another first of its kind, much imitated but rarely beaten.’
23 June 2002
[bb3] When the Going Gets Tough, the Toughs Get Going — some interesting comments on Big Brother 3 …
‘It seems significant that, while this series of Big Brother has seen the most actual sex (that gory little escapade under the covers between PJ and Jade), it’s the ongoing aura of violence (the hostility, aggression and glowering resentment) that has been truly riveting. We might not like to admit it, but it is human nature to crane one’s neck towards an argument – we are all magnetically attracted to trouble, be it obvious (the chair-smashing ruck in the pub), or subtle (the backstabbing feud in the office). While I, for one, found it repulsive and tedious watching idiots like BB 2’s Helen and Paul leadenly flirt with each other, the anger whirling around in BB 3 somehow seems more honest, the resentment intoxicating, the unique misery of Other People impossible to fake.’
14 June 2002
[tv] You ask the Questions… Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen … ‘Changing Rooms was the only thing left in the schedules on 11 September. We had the most phenomenal post bag as a result. People had been through one of the worst days of their lives, and for many that half an hour of the most irrelevant stuff – like me worrying about what shade of green to paint a breakfast room – was exactly what they needed.’ [Related: LLB’s Website, Changing Rooms Website]
8 June 2002
[bb3] Meanwhile, in the Big Brother House …
‘Jade – “I love you chipstick”
PJ – “I’m not gonna lie to you Jade.. about this girl outside that I like.. if you didn’t have a boyfriend it would be different… cause I’m not with anyone.. this girl outside, no matter how much I care for her.. she has a boyfriend… I really do I really really really do care for her… if she hadn?t a boyfriend I would definitely get off with her now.”
Jade – “shut up…”
PJ – “well I would if you didn’t have a boyfriend…”
Jade – “shhhh”
PJ – “dirty git”
Jade – “I should just keep my mouth shut…”
They go quiet for a good ten minutes. Probably busy just fiddling around.
They whisper. Jade says “I love you” several times.
PJ pushes her out of bed.’
6 June 2002
[film] That’s Militainment — a look at what Jerry Bruckheimer’s is currently up to… a new “Reality Soap” set in Afghanistan. ‘Interested to see just how highbrow Bruckheimer is prepared to go, I spin him a hypothetical scenario. Ingmar Bergman is on the phone. He’s making a new film about an old woman who suffers a crisis of faith at a remote cottage in Sweden. He wants Jerry to produce it. “I’d have a problem with that,” Bruckheimer admits. What, even if it starred Liv Ullmann?’
2 June 2002
[bb3] Meanwhile, in the Big Brother House …
PJ – “aww the games kicked off! … say 10 mins gone… Beckham, has he got his boots on?”
Lee – “you realise… this is like missing Wrestlemania.”
8 May 2002
[media] Paranoia, stupidity and greed ganging up on the public — Dan Gillmor on the “Entertainment” Industry … ‘Jamie Kellner, head of Turner Broadcasting, part of the AOL Time Warner conglomerate, told the newsweekly CableWorld that you are a thief if you use one of a PVR’s best features — skipping commercials. “Your contract with the network when you get the show is you’re going to watch the spots,” he said. “Otherwise you couldn’t get the show on an ad-supported basis. Whenever you fail to watch a commercial,” he added, “you’re actually stealing the programming.” It gets better. When the interviewer asked whether it’s OK to go to the bathroom or get a soft drink out of the refrigerator, Kellner replied, “I guess there’s a certain amount of tolerance for going to the bathroom.”’ [via Red Rock Eater News Service]
7 May 2002
[tv] The Young Ones Fansite — excellent episode guide and complete set of scripts [via Fark] …
RICK: There’ll be plenty of chicks for these tigers on the road to the Promised Land. This is it! It’s really happening! Who needs qualifications? Who cares about Thatcher and unemployment?! We can do just exactly whatever we want to do! And you know why? Because we’re Young Ones. Bachelor boys! Crazy, mad, wild-eyed, big-bottomed anarchists!! [Rick gazes ahead in horror] Look out!! CLIFF!!!
[The bus plows through a Cliff Richard billboard and over an enormous man-made cliff, crashing down hundreds of feet.]
VYVYAN, MIKE, RICK, NEIL: [together] Whew! That was close!
[The bus explodes]
1 May 2002
[tv] ITV Digital: An Insider’s Story — a middle-manager at ITV Digital talks about what went wrong … ‘Quality needs to override the consumers thirst for quantity. The quality of UK digital programming must improve in order that the digital platform becomes attractive. The consumers’ perception can be summed up by a letter sent to HQ this week from a subscriber. They offered to buy a monkey in exchange for a lifetime’s supply of crisps – is this how we are to be remembered? We are a supplier of programmes not a toy store!’ [Related: Media Guardian Coverage of ITV Digital Shutdown]
29 April 2002
21 April 2002
[tv] The Double Life of Johnny Vegas — great profile / interview … ‘He pinched the name from the rock ‘n’ roll singer in Grease, Johnny Casino, adopting it originally to give him the courage to get up on stage and sing in pubs. But pouring all his disappointments into him proved to be a stroke of genius, because sunny-natured Michael Pennington could never, I suspect, have got up on stage and been so bilious and pathetic and bitter. “It sounds simple, if you say you’re accepting, but I was never one to resent anything. From a certain age, I sort of accepted myself for what I was. And although to other people it was like nothing ever goes right, I had a really nice attitude that I’d inherited from my parents, and especially from my dad.”‘
19 April 2002
[tv] Ben Elton — another you ask the questions … ‘Q:What would Rik, Mike, Neil and Vyv each be doing now, 20 years after The Young Ones? A: Rik would be President of the Michael Portillo Fan Club. Vyv would be a special advisor to Stephen Byers on transport policy. Neil would have moved to Brixton in the hope of being allowed to cultivate his dope plants in peace ? unfortunately, he would have been ripped off when he bought the seeds and be getting a headache trying to smoke fennel. Mike was an enigma then, and remains so.’
8 April 2002
[tv] The Complete Tapehead Columns — all Jim Shelley’s Tapehead articles are archived on the web … Tapehead on Sex Addicts: ‘Sex Addiction is all the rage these days, and no wonder. Where better to meet dozens of horny men or women than a Sex Addicts therapy session? Fine Cut: I Am A Sex Addict illustrates how sex addiction can lead to devastating debilities for S&M, pornography and violence, and the sort of massive self-loathing that causes one addict to describe herself as “a hopeless romantic in a vibrator life.” Phew. “What sex addicts have in common,” Fine Cut states, “is their compulsion and the fact that they are people, just like you and me.” It looks as if you and me have lot of problems then.’ [thanks Vaughan :) ]
6 April 2002
[tv] We are Family — profile of the Slater Sisters from Eastenders … ‘This is a trial we’re talking about; there’ll be tears before, during and after summing-up. Alex Ferns, who plays Trevor (enemy of the Slaters and, indeed, all womankind), watches them with pure admiration. “Look at them,” he says in the extremely quiet voice that telly people are so good at. “They look like Reservoir Dogs.” He thinks for a bit, and then looks sad as he says, “I’d be Mr Dead.”‘
30 March 2002
[tv] Queen of Cringe — interview with Daisy Donovan from William Leith … ‘It would be over-simplistic to say that what Donovan does is to interview people on television in order to embarrass them, but it would not be inaccurate. Some people say she’s a bit like Louis Theroux; she has also been called “the female Ali G”. In a way, she’s the anti-Dando. She has a way of subverting all televisual authority, including her own. She started off as a presenter on Channel 4’s 11 O’Clock show, where she interviewed important, or self-important, people and asked them awkward, deflating questions in the manner of Dennis Pennis. Asking the former Tory chairman Norman Fowler about his life, she suggested that it must be like standing on the edge of a precipice: “Have you ever tossed yourself off?” she asked.’
27 March 2002
[buffy] The oval that men do — article on the Buffy Easter Egg … ‘Of course it might be said that Buffy, in her role as a vampire “Slayer”, acts upon the undead much in the same way that a crucifix does, albeit with more kick-ass force. The crucifix is the central symbol of Easter, indeed of Christianity, and we might care to regard Buffy as a modern equivalent. I would even dare to describe Buffy as a sort of all-American version of the Messiah (the mouse mat also says “into each generation a Slayer is born”) unless there is some kind of blasphemy legislation pending that I don’t know about.’
16 March 2002
[tv] Keepin’ it Real, for Real — profile of Ali G … ‘His school reports also contain an intriguing hint about Ali’s secret life. Despite his often repeated boasts about his enormous membrum virile, his PE teacher confides that “he has, to my knowledge, only once been prepared to take a shower with the rest of the boys. Admittedly, certain cruel remarks from a few of them are probably a factor here…”‘
4 March 2002
[tv] This is a Setup — yet another interview with Louis Theroux … ‘Would he happily pull out a pack of condoms from Jimmy Savile’s bag in real life? “Oh, no,” he says, shocked. “I’d never do that if the camera weren’t there. I’d worry that he’d get offended.” So the camera offers protection? “Well, it’s a licence to behave in a certain way.” He says that on television he is in character, even though that character is just a heightened version of his true self.’
19 February 2002
[buffy] Oh, you slay me — interview with Anthony Head … ‘There are few things cooler than having Rupert Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer as your dad.’