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London Bloggers [Comic Blogs][Other Blogs] | 22 June 2002
[history] Deep Throat: Not the Usual Suspects — from McSweeney’s … ‘Richard Nixon: On a dark, rainy evening in the spring of 1973, President Richard Milhous Nixon, tormented by self-loathing, picks up the phone and places a call to the Washington Post. The rest, as they say, is history, my friend.’
20 June 2002
[comics] Fake Memo about Superman’s Vision … old article from McSweeney’s … ‘Superman #102: Superman manages to resolve what would appear to be an intractable set of simultaneous crises (including a Doomsday machine, Lois Lane being held hostage, and a Kryptonite hailstorm), by using what are referred to as his “Defeating-His-Enemies Vision” and his “Hail-Reversing Vision.” This sort of thing is quite unsatisfying for the discerning reader, and, to put it bluntly, can only be attributed to laziness at the story-construction level.’
15 June 2002
[blogs] Don’t Read This — transcript of an Instant Message conversation from Chris at Do You Feel Loved? … ‘If Osama Bin Laden was gonna drop a nuke into the earth’s core and said “The only way to stop me is… to suck off this monkey!” I’d just be like “Dude, that’s it? Whatever” and go to town.’
31 May 2002
[omg!] Spiderman Body Painting [Warning: Link Contains Gratuitous Pictures of Blue Penis.] … Painted Naked Man As Spiderman. WHY? DEAR GOD, WHY?! [via FilePile]
24 May 2002
21 May 2002
[science] MC Hawkings Crib — Fuck the Creationists [lyrics] …
‘Fuck the damn creationists, those bunch of dumb-ass bitches, 7 May 2002
[tv] The Young Ones Fansite — excellent episode guide and complete set of scripts [via Fark] …
RICK: There’ll be plenty of chicks for these tigers on the road to the Promised Land. This is it! It’s really happening! Who needs qualifications? Who cares about Thatcher and unemployment?! We can do just exactly whatever we want to do! And you know why? Because we’re Young Ones. Bachelor boys! Crazy, mad, wild-eyed, big-bottomed anarchists!! [Rick gazes ahead in horror] Look out!! CLIFF!!! 14 April 2002
[distraction] Queen Mum We Love You!! … great Flash animation in a South Park style. [via plasticbag.org]
9 April 2002
[funk] The Periodic Table of Funk … Ai: ‘For the rare occasions you may be required to entertain your woman’s shortie: behold the Atari 2600 VCS. Nothin’ is gonna beat the multiple-bit power of the almighty 2600. Yar’s Revenge, River Raid, Combat, Q*Bert, Super Breakout… ‘ [via I Love Everything]
7 April 2002
[web] Christopher Walken’s LiveJournal … ‘have you ever wanted to punch someone square in the teeth, just to see how many fall out? i met ben affleck today.’ — March 24th Entry. [via Grammarporn]
27 March 2002
[comics] Reno man threatens to blow up comics store … ‘He said he wanted to blow up the place or burn it down. If he couldn’t have his comic books, nobody could.’ [Related: Metafilter has some amusing comments … ‘What are mylar snugs? They sound like diapers? Waterproof underwear?’]
26 March 2002
[distraction] Britney’s Naked Cat-a-Phone … very similar to the Buffy Swearing Keyboard ‘Warning: Using this software will send your cat mental. It made mine bite.’
17 March 2002
[celebs] Is Pete stalking Danny La Rue? ‘If you walk down Malett St and look up there’s a balcony of sorts with shrubs and trees. That’s where he lives. His front door is the one with the arm holding a hammer. I know this because someone told me.’
[911] Six Months that Changed a Year — an “absolute atrocity” special by Chris Morris and Armando Iannucci … Highlights include: ‘Julie Burchill: How I liberated Kandahar with the news that Tony Parsons is a bastard.’ [Update: Post on Metafilter]
15 March 2002
[colon] LMG supports the campaign to pursuade Tom to irrigate his colon. [banner courtesy of Dave]
 ‘I’m as yet unconvinced by the idea of the sponsored defudging – but I’m open to persuasion.’ 11 March 2002
6 March 2002
[blogs] Yesterday I asked Metafilter if this picture made them feel inadequate… lots of amusing responses. ‘…his hairstyle is horrid, his cock isn’t that big, and the expression on his face is ridiculous.’
28 February 2002
[comics] Get Your Wurtzel On — reworking of Get Your War On … ‘…when you get naked on your own book cover and yet nobody gives a shit, the world must seem pretty cold!’ [via RACM]
22 February 2002
[books] Book-a-Minute Classics — ultra-condensed novels … Gravity’s Rainbow: ‘A screaming thing comes across the sky. It’s a V-2 rocket carrying twelve thousand pounds of symbolism, and it’s coming down on your poor, deluded, postmodern head.’ [via I Love Everything]
18 February 2002
[web] So much content, so little time … seanbaby.com:
14 February 2002
[comics] Batman Valentines Day Card from The Cap’n’s Unfortunate Valentine’s Cards … ‘I fight a war that can never be won. I strive toward a goal that can never be reached. I am haunted. I am relentless. I am tortured. Won’t you be my valentine? ‘
 8 February 2002
7 February 2002
[blogs] not.so.soft: ‘There is so little that’s original on the web these days. Everything seems a bit recycled, plagiarised, stolen, revisited, reworked, repackaged. Especially in the personal publishing world.’ [via Venusberg]
28 January 2002
[funny] Peace Activist Has To Admit Barrett .50 Caliber Sniper Rifle Is Pretty Cool … ‘"Look, I realize that the use of this instrument of destruction, even in wartime, is morally reprehensible, and I don’t see how anyone with a conscience could justify owning one," said Robinson, 31, a University of Vermont graduate student in sociology and president of the campus chapter of Amnesty International. "But you have to admit, it’s pretty wild to think that it’s capable of throwing a half-inch bullet into a man-sized target 1,500 meters away."’
26 January 2002
[young ones] The Complete Guide to Rick’s Poetry … Rick’s Teen Anguish Poem:
oh god, why am I so much more sensitive than everybody else? why do I feel things so much more acutely than them, and understand so much more. I bet I’m the first person who’s ever felt as rotten as this. could it be that I’m going to grow up to be a great poet and thinker, and all those other wankers in my class are going to have to work in factories or go on the dole? yes, I think it could. 22 January 2002
[distraction] This is Me by Georg Bush … ‘i have the most guns and planes in the world’ [via BenHammersley.com]
18 January 2002
[distractions] Destiny’s Alf … ‘…coz I depend on meat…’
17 January 2002
[anti-porn] The Marmot Anti Porno Page — the internet needs more pages like this … ‘I took great care to ensure that this particular marmot wasn’t being chain cocked by the Village People.’ [via Blogjam]
14 January 2002
[quotables] ‘C’mon, let’s do it! White Riot. Stand Down Margaret. I’m a child of recession, I’ve got hate in my eyes. Ask for me tomorrow and I’ll be gone cause I’ve got a one-way ticket to oblivion and I’m going to raise hell getting there!’ – Rik, The Young Ones.
13 January 2002
[quotables] ‘There’ll be plenty of chicks for these tigers on the road to the promised land! Who cares about Thatcher and unemployment? We can do just exactly whatever we want to do! And do you know why? Because we’re Young Ones! Bachelor Boys! Wild eyed big bottomed anarchists! LOOK OUT!! CLLLLLIIIIIFFFF!!’ – Rik, The Young Ones.
8 January 2002
[quotables] ‘We NEVER clean the toilet, Neil! That’s what being a student is all about! No way, Harpic! No way, Dot! All that Blue Loo scene is for squares. One thing’s for sure, Neil, when Cliff Richard wrote “Wired for Sound”, no way was he sitting on a clean lavatory! He was living on the limit, just like me. Where the only place to put bleach is in your hair!’ – Rik, The Young Ones.
5 January 2002
[spam] SIMPLE PILL CAN INCREASE YOUR EJACULATION By 581%!!! … really silly spam. ‘Shoot up to 13 feet!’ [via Everlasting Blort]
29 December 2001
24 December 2001
[tvgohome] Charlie Brooker’s alternative Christmas Day TV listings… ‘9.30 I Love the Succession of Glittering Images Which Distract and Amuse Yet Ultimately Do Little to Quell the Boundless Sadness at My Core.’
21 December 2001
[tv] What I’ve Learned — the wit and wisdom of Homer J. Simpson … ‘What kind of fool would leave a pie on a windowsill, anyway? ‘ [via Sore Eyes]
[xmas] Check out Marcia’s Crappy Crimbo Cards … ‘Bah, humbug.’
15 December 2001
[distraction] Osama Smoking Gun Video — the latest translations … ‘UBL: Phil’s nowhere to be seen and Peggy’s left to run the Queen Vic Over Christmas.’ [via Metafilter]
3 December 2001
[web] A Cunt Compendium … The Nathan Barley Extravaganza — All your favourite Cunts in one place. ‘The continuing adventures of a total wank stain.’ [Related: TVGoHome]
 28 November 2001
[comics] Photoshop this comic book cover … from Oddball Comics. [via Haddock]
 ‘Y’know, I’ve heard the term “sportin’ a woody” before – but this… this… this is just plain ridiculous! And the expressions on the faces of Chuck Connors and Johnny Crawford just make things worse – or at least, funnier!’ [MORE] 27 November 2001
[school] Foe’s Reunited … confirms my feeling that Friends Reunited is evil and wrong. ‘Man’s greatest joy is to slay his enemy, plunder his riches, ride his steeds, see the tears of his loved ones and embrace his women.” – Genghis Khan’ [via Parallax View via Dutchbint]
20 November 2001
[war] Afghans Taste Freedom — Smokehammer reports from Kabul. ‘…children play happily in the dust. Half an hour ago I helped an excited group skin a dead taliban fighter and turn him into a kite.’ [via As Above]
[tv] PopBitch vs. Trisha … ‘Following last week’s Diary entry on Popbitch regulars terrorising the Trisha Online message board for the emotionally vulnerable, events have taken a sinister turn. Hacked off with the pranksters pretending to be potential daytime-TV fodder, Anglia TV webmeisters threatened to call the police. They then traced some of the imposters’ email addresses, got in touch with their employers and warned them that they were using company time to mess with the minds of important chat show people. Which all seems more than a little heavy-handed and unnecessary.’ [Related: Trisha Message Board]
9 November 2001
[school] Bullies Reunited …‘Bullies Reunited is a site for those of us who spent our schooldays tormenting, ridiculing and psychologically disturbing other children who were smaller, weirder, younger, poorer – or, indeed, richer than ourselves. Kids who wore glasses. Kids who walked a bit funny. Kids who needed go to the toilet too often.’ [via I Love Everything]
6 November 2001
[tv] Other Listings Magazine — more DIY TV Go Home … ‘18.30 Good Old Dad. First of a new six part series in which Richard Briers meets children he illegitimately fathered as a result of a series of sordid sex sessions during filming of the first series of “The Good Life”‘
1 November 2001
[distraction] TV Misguidance — DIY TV Go Home. ‘20.00 Fear of a Blue Planet … David Attenborough gets eaten by Sharks. (Repeat)’
31 October 2001
[funny ha ha] A couple of amusing Onions:
Let Us Freak … ‘Girl, please allow me to break it down for you. You are the love of my life, and I would travel to the ends of the earth to prove my love for you. I would fly to Europe in order to personally select the finest champagne for you to drink. I would climb to the peak of the highest mountain to demonstrate that my lower-back muscles are powerful and won’t give out. I would weave for you the most comfortable silk sheets ever known to creation. I am the man for you, and I will make you want to get down and get funk-ass nasty with me. I will make you scream and shout all hours of the night. I will make sweet love to you like no man has ever before. In addition to all of that, I will wash you.’ [via Haddock] Now More Than Ever, Humanity Needs My Back To The Future Fan Fiction … ‘ Sadly, the flux-capacitor technology masterminded by Dr. Emmet Brown remains a fantasy. As such, we cannot go back in time and change the terrible events of Sept. 11. But we can draw strength by drawing close to one another and holding fast to the faith that tomorrow will be a brighter day. And also by reading my Back To The Future fan fiction.’ 30 October 2001
[sysadmin] An Actual Letter from a Fed-Up Systems Administrator … ‘Never fuck with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.’ [via BenHammersley.com]
29 October 2001
[flatmates] Cleaning The Fucking Kitchen For Dummies … ‘The pizza may have arrived at your door on its own, but once you eat half of it, it’s dead and it won’t actually go away on its own. It doesn’t matter if you hide it somewhere like some sort of demented squirrel, it will stay there. Unless someone throws it away. That means you, if the world is just, which it plainly isn’t.’ [via Ms. Woo]
[books] More from Adrian Mole: ‘Glenn has been excluded from school, for calling Tony Blair a twat.’
26 October 2001
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