[LMG]LMG RSS Feed 
[Search][Projects]A Moment Of MooreMe and Belle de Jour TimeMachineGo Evening Standard Headline Pictures [UK Bloggers]
London Bloggers [Comic Blogs][Other Blogs] | 1 July 2007
[iphone] Wait in Line like Everyone Else, you Traitorous Bastard — Fake Steve Jobs on Steve Wozniak … ‘He lifts my brand name and calls his book iWoz. Then he comes sniffing around looking for a free iPhone. Forget it, Captain Segway. Look. You did some nice work — back in the seventies. To put it another way, the last time you did any real work, Styx was still selling out arenas. Bokay?’
29 June 2007
[iphone] 29 June 2007: The Day the World Changed — Fake Steve Jobs rallies the troops … ‘To those of you who serve under me at Apple, I say this: Yes, I have berated you, and insulted you, and exasperated you. Yes, I’ve fired your friends for no reason, and made you work harder than you ever thought you could work. Yes, I’ve taken you away from your spouses, your children, your transgendered domestic partners. In some cases your devotion to me has cost you your marriages. You’ve sacrificed a great deal for this. But has it not been worth it? For the rest of your life, you’ll be able to say that you were working at Apple when the iPhone was introduced. You were here on the day when the course of human history was changed forever. Plus, you’ll get a free 4-gigabyte iPhone, at $500 value. Not bad, right?’
27 June 2007
[books] Henry Raddick’s Amazon Reviews — spoof book reviews on Amazon. Raddick reviews
God, Why Did Dad Lose His Job?: … ‘A truly wonderful guide which has enabled me to explain my recent sacking for vandalising company property to my children in terms of a minor act of redemption. First rate.’
25 June 2007
[virtual] YouTube: Second Life for Real … (more…)
[music] ‘Oh good, it’s raining again’ — Charlie Brooker does Glastonbury … ‘Once you’re in, the sheer scale of it is initially overwhelming. Imagine forcing the cast of Emmerdale to hurriedly construct Las Vegas at gunpoint in the rain. Then do it again. And once more for luck. That’s Glastonbury: a cross between a medieval refugee camp and a recently detonated circus. Roads of sloppy mud and drunken civilians shivering in tents; this is what London would look like if I’d been in charge for 100 years. Not because I’m some kind of laid-back dreamer, but because I couldn’t organise a piss-up in a pissery. It’d take me six decades to assemble the most rudimentary infrastructure. There’d be no museums in my London. Maybe a bin or two, at a push.’
22 June 2007
[quotes] Grouphug.us: ‘In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.’
14 June 2007
[usa] Judge Who Seeks Millions for Lost Pants Has His (Emotional) Day in Court … ‘Before trial began yesterday in the case of the D.C. judge who sued his neighborhood dry cleaners after they lost his pants, the most extraordinary fact was Roy Pearson’s demand for $65 million in damages. That was before Pearson, an administrative law judge, broke down while testifying about the emotional pain of having the cleaners give him the wrong pants. It was before an 89-year-old woman in a wheelchair told of being chased out of the cleaners by an angry owner. And it was before she compared the owners of Custom Cleaners in open court to Nazis. “I knew it: It’s all my fault,” said the reporter from German television who was sitting next to me.’ [via kottke]
13 June 2007
[books] The Digested Read: God is Not Great by Christopher Hitchens … ‘The purpose of this book is not to prove God does not exist; it is to prove I am cleverer than Richard Dawkins.’
8 June 2007
7 June 2007
[comics] We Must Expand Our Nuclear Power Program If We’re To Realize Our Dream Of Superhero Mutants — from The Onion … ‘We say we are committed to science, but where are the halls of justice, filled with governing councils of serum-created superpatriots, part-android teenagers, and scantily clad femaliens sworn to protect us?’ [via Neilalien]
6 June 2007
[lolcats] Schrödinger’s Lolcat … ‘in ur quantum box… maybe’ [via Minor 9th]
4 June 2007
[lolcats] Roll Your Own LOL, Not Just For Cats Anymore — some funny examples of lolcats mutations … ‘no cry, albino’
25 May 2007
[comics] Blogdok — Modok (Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing) has a blog… ‘Greetings, tiny-headed comic book (finger quotes) “FANATICS!” This is MODOK speaking! Refreshing your pitiful web browser is futile. Futile, I tell you!!! After many long decades of plotting (and calculating) silently in the shadows, I, MODOK!, have decided to take over the Interweb…’ [via Warren Ellis]
24 May 2007
[funny] The Philolsophers Pool … ‘eckzistenshulizm. chix dig it’ [again via mondo a-go-go]
23 May 2007
[funny] loltheorists: Thus Spake Zarathustra … ‘god iz ded. lol’ [via mondo a-go-go]
22 May 2007
[funny] Funny List of Colemanballs… A Colemanball from Pat Glenn (a Weightlifting Commentator): ‘This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing.’ [via Informationally Overloaded]
18 May 2007
[books] Spoof Amazon Customer Reviews for Richard Littlejohn’s New Book: ‘After reading this searing deconstruction of our liberal, permissive society, I was almost blind with rage. And so I followed Littlejohnson’s example and did the only thing open to a red-blooded, patriotic Briton: I buggered off to America. Luckily, before I left I went out speeding one last time and managed to run over an immigrant, who I believe was also homosexual – as is my God-given right as an Englishman. God bless you, Littlejohnson, God bless you.’ [via qwghlm.co.uk]
17 May 2007
10 May 2007
[ebay] 18 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Find on Ebay … ‘Find Womens Sweat on eBay.’
7 May 2007
[comics] 16 Panels That I Don’t Think Work All That Well … following on from Wally Wood. [via Do You Feel Loved]
 6 May 2007
[funny] The Brain of Britain — amusing cutaway of what is in the brain of an Englishman … ‘BACKBONE!’
29 April 2007
[tv] Fallen Madonna to go to New Buyer … ‘An auction of The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies – the picture made famous by BBC sitcom ‘Allo ‘Allo – has raised more than £4,000 for charity […] Mr Moore, from Thame, said many other copies of the picture, by fictional artist Van Clomp, were ruined during shooting of the series. “They were rolled into German sausages, shoved down trouser legs, or singed by an exploding gilded frame intended as a gift for Adolf Hitler,” he said.’
27 April 2007
22 April 2007
[funny] Biblical Curse Generator … ‘I pray thou shalt be mocked by eunuchs, thou child of Jezebel!’
21 April 2007
[tv] The MacGyver Multi-Tool … ‘The only tool you’ll ever need…’ [via Clipmarks]
9 April 2007
[self-help] Ask Metafilter: What is the dumbest, funniest, most peculiar piece of advice you have ever found in a self-help book? … ‘From the worst ‘How To’ book on screenwriting ever written (“How to Write a Movie in 21 days” by Viki King): WEAR YOUR LUCKY SOCKS.’
6 April 2007
[comics] Top 15 Unintentionally Funny Comic Book Panels — great list including some I’ve blogged before. Includes this classic panel:
 5 April 2007
[comics] Are People really that anxious to see Lois get spanked?!? — amusing collection of letters from Superman comics in the Sixties … ‘Dear Editor, Everybody keeps asking for a story in which Lois gets a super-spanking. You keep saving Lois from a well deserved thrashing by saying SUPERMAN is a gentleman and would never hit a lady. Well I KNOW he’s a gentleman. But what about a story in which SUPERMAN meets up with RED Kryptonite…’
3 April 2007
[tv] Peepshow Series 1-3 Catch Up — Peep Show summarised by Super Hans … ‘Frosties are just cornflakes for people who can’t face reality.’ [via As Above]
1 April 2007
[blogs] Real interview with Fake Steve Jobs … ‘You know this one time when I was at Reed and really experimenting with acid, we did some 4-way acid but we didn’t realize it was 4-way so we each took a whole hit — which turned out to be a quadruple dose. And I swear during that trip I imagined the iPod for the first time. This was the early 70s. Actually I imagined a little teeny tiny record player that you could carry with you. But that’s basically what a hard disk is. I think.’
29 March 2007
[tv] Quotes from the Batman TV Series … Batman: ‘A reporter’s lot is not easy, making exciting stories out of plain, average, ordinary people like Robin and me.’ [via linkbunnies.org]
26 March 2007
25 March 2007
[religion] The Atheist’s Greatest Nightmare… the Banana. [thanks Phil]
19 March 2007
[tv] Jack Bauer’s Twitter … ‘Can anyone recommend a good hand lotion? Conditions when I was in China were just torture on my skin.’
16 March 2007
[blogs] Shaggy Blog Stories — Mike at Troubled Diva has succeeded in publishing a collection of funny blog stories for Comic Relief in a week. Buy a copy Here … ‘Make no mistake: this is one absolute BELTER of a book: a showcase of British Blogging at its finest. Most of the entries, and indeed many of the submissions which didn’t make it to press, have made me laugh out loud. Sometimes, I have been in stitches. Yes, that might have been simple hysteria. But never has hysteria felt so sweet.’
 13 March 2007
[comic] Everything I needed to Learn About Comics I Learned from Arnold Drake … ’14. Monocles Always Work’
12 March 2007
[comics] Captain America Killed — amusing Onion Vox Pop… ‘Yet another intelligence failure by S.H.I.E.L.D.. How many more screwups must we endure before Bush fires Executive Director Nicholas Fury?’
7 March 2007
[funny] 100% of SCIENCE!: How Pikey is The Dorchester? … ‘The experiment comprises the depositing of a small denomination coin in the gentlemen’s urinal of said carefully chosen establishment, and measuring how much time passes before the coin is removed.’
5 March 2007
[comics] Matt Murdock is a Dick … the infamous moment when Matt Murdock drops a kid down a lift shaft in Daredevil #209 …
 28 February 2007
[funny] Vita Radium Suppositories (for restoring Sex Power) … ‘Recommended for sexually weak men who, however, should use the NU-MAN Tablets in connection for best results. Also splendid for piles and rectal sores.’
25 February 2007
[motions] Correct Position for Opening your Bowels — It looks really complicated – Is the footrest really neccessary? :) [via Kottke]
21 February 2007
[tv] 50 funniest Homer Simpson Quotes … ‘I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.’ [via Limbicnutrition Weblog]
17 February 2007
[religion] Amusing Science vs. Faith Flowchart. [via bojo.org]
12 February 2007
[funny] Ze Frank on Procrastination … ‘You might experience a whole career to put off building meaningful relationships and finding an inner sense of self worth.’
11 February 2007
[nude] Top 10 Naked People on Google Earth … ‘This person thinks they have privacy on this rooftop (haven’t they seen Enemy of the State?), and they’re definitely topless! (Sex unknown of course, but topless nevertheless.)’ [via linkbunnies.org]
9 February 2007
[comics] Stupid Comics on British Girls Annuals … ‘These comics aren’t all fun and games. Real-world problems and issues were sometimes dealt with in a frank and open fashion, uncompromising and stark, facing society’s problems head on. For instance… Sometimes, sometimes Daddy buys you a pony, and that pony is SO mischevious and fun-loving that it becomes embarrassing at equestrian events! A real-world problem that many British teenage girls wished they faced.’ [via qwghlm]
8 February 2007
[apple] Are you a Mark or a Jez? — some photoshopping of Apple’s Peep Show Adverts … ‘Let’s be honest – I’m a bit of a twat. Guess which computer I am?’ [via linkbunnies.org]
6 February 2007
[comics] The Four Types of Bat-Conflict … [via BeaucoupKevin]
5 February 2007
[apple] Charlie Brooker: I Hate Macs … ‘So when you see the ads, you think, “PCs are a bit rubbish yet ultimately lovable, whereas Macs are just smug, preening tossers.” In other words, it is a devastatingly accurate campaign. I hate Macs. I have always hated Macs. I hate people who use Macs. I even hate people who don’t use Macs but sometimes wish they did. Macs are glorified Fisher-Price activity centres for adults; computers for scaredy cats too nervous to learn how proper computers work; computers for people who earnestly believe in feng shui.’
 28 January 2007
[politics] Downing Street E-Petitions: We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to replace the national anthem with ‘Gold’ by Spandau Ballet … ‘What we specifically want to see, is that the National Anthem be changed in favour of “Gold” by Spandau Ballet. Further, we would like our National Olympic Committee to decree that Tony Hadley is the only person permitted to handle medal ceremonies where the National Anthem is played. We don’t mind what he wears when he does this, but preference is given towards a a gold colured suit.’ [thanks Phil]
|
