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21 January 2008
[pants] Paxman raises smalls problem with M&S — Jeremy Paxman on the awful spectre of widespread male gusset anxiety … ‘[Jeremy Paxman] is so concerned about the declining standards of men’s underwear that he has written to Sir Stuart Rose, the chief executive of M&S, detailing his “anxiety” about its gussets, which he said no longer offered “adequate support”. “Like very large numbers of men in this country, I have always bought my socks and pants at Marks & Sparks,” he wrote. “I’ve noticed that something very troubling has happened. There’s no other way to put this. Their pants no longer provide adequate support. When I’ve discussed this with friends and acquaintances it has revealed widespread gusset anxiety. I do feel that someone should take up this mighty battle. The other thing is socks…”‘
9 January 2008
[funny] Improbable Pop-Up Books — funny photoshop contest from somethingawful.com … 
8 January 2008
[fun] Concentrated Stupid — a webpage showing a random example of the concentrated stupidity of the Internet … ‘u kno dissin tom and if he knew he be deleted all of uscryingnaw playingprobly delete u for posting thislol’ [via Waxy]
7 January 2008
[tv] The GOP Primary Field in Buffy Villains — great list which neatly sums up Republican Presidential candidates (especially for non-american Buffy fans) … ‘John McCain as The Master – The oldest vampire. Got killed early, but there’s some talk about how he might rise again.’
28 December 2007
[cats] The Kitten Channel — because the Internet is all about cute kittens … ‘OMG!!! KITTENS!!! All the best kittens and cats on the interweb – that’s the newest flickr photos, and YouTube videos in one place. Plus a hand-picked selection of the cutest and funnest cat and kitten related pictures, videos, news, views and gubbins on our blog.’ [via More(ish)]
4 December 2007
[comics] 50 answers — fifty funny comic strip question and answers … 
25 November 2007
[funny] This Much I Know from Ken Campbell … I selected a random address in Barkingside as a setting for a script. It was the first script Frank Muir bought when he was setting up the comedy department for LWT. He rang up and said, ‘Bute Road, Barkingside? I once had sex there.’
21 November 2007
[funny] The Bile Card … ‘In the event of my death I would like my gall bladder to be hurled forcibly at the Editor of the Daily Mail.’
11 November 2007
[funny] The 10 Most Unfortunately Named People on the Internets .. ‘We’ll give you one guess what Dr. Richard Chopp is best known for in the Austin medical community. Yep, Vasectomies. We can’t make this stuff up, folks.’
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1 November 2007
[media] Currybetdotnet: The Daily Star’s unique approach to promoting RSS feeds … ‘I so wish I had been in the meeting when someone said, “You know….we could get a topless bird to hold the RSS icon…”‘
26 October 2007
[books] Children’s Books You’ll Never See … ‘The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator’ [via linkbunnies.org]
22 October 2007
[funny] Entire Precinct Made Up Of Loose Cannons — ‘The officers’ darkest moment reportedly came in November 1992, when they shot and killed three dozen children who darted out of a dark alley holding toy guns. Following the incident, Henderson traveled to the San Pedro, CA marina where all 34 officers docked their houseboats. He found them passed out with bottles of Wild Turkey in their left hands and .44-caliber Magnum handguns in their right.
“I dragged every one of those sorry bastards into the shower myself, brewed 28 gallons of coffee, and made them drink it. By the time I was done, it was 3 a.m. and I was completely exhausted, but I got them back on the right track,” Henderson said.’
17 October 2007
[comics] Orbital Comics Top 10 Lists — amusing lists posted in Orbital Comics in Central London … [via Kottke] 
14 October 2007
[space] NASA Announces Plan To Bring Wi-Fi To Its Headquarters By 2017 … ‘NASA has suffered from a public credibility crisis in recent years due to perceived incompetence, a failed mission to Mars, the damaged and dormant Hubble telescope, and its inability to procure a long enough USB cable to reach all the way over to engineer William Chen’s cubicle. But NASA officials argue that a secure high-speed line could prevent disasters such as a 2005 incident in which an employee attempting to download the movie trailer for Cheaper by the Dozen 2 crashed the Mission Control Center mainframe computer for two weeks.’ [via Qwghlm]
8 October 2007
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4 October 2007
Facebook and David Cameron … ‘The Tory leader may yet regret drawing attention to an area of the internet where political debate is indeed lively. Others dedicated to Mr Cameron on Facebook include Keep Cameron out of Number 10! (594 members), David Cameron is a twat (71), If David Cameron shows up at Glastonbury festival we will sacrifice him (59), and the particularly popular Stop David Cameron … his lies make baby Jesus cry (1310).’
29 September 2007
[wikipedia] The 8 Most Needlessly Detailed Wikipedia Entries … On the Wikipedia entry for the Universe of the Metroid Series: ‘…if you searched for “Metroid” because you needed some codes or hints, anything that might make playing the game a little easier, this is not the place to go, unless Metroid 2 has a level where an in-depth understanding of the Space Pirate’s culture and physiology comes in handy. Word Count: 30,106. That’s more words than Shakespeare’s fifth longest play, Henry IV, Part 2.’
27 September 2007
[food] Fancy pizza twice a day, every day? — the Guardian on Tony Benn and his love of pizza… ‘On Tuesday September 9 2001, his diary records, Tony Benn went shopping. Specifically, he went looking for his “favourite triple-cheese pizzas”, which had inexplicably disappeared from the shelves of his local supermarket. “I have,” he notes, “eaten two of them every day for years.” At first glance, this revelation may appear to raise important questions as to the continued health of our treasured Last Living Socialist, the only triple-cheese pizza commonly available from UK supermarkets being, as far as I can see, the Chicago Town Deep Dish Triple Cheese Pizza, which costs £1.65 for two at Tesco and contains, according to the Food Standards Agency, a healthy 30% of a person’s recommended daily fat intake per portion.’
27 August 2007
[funny] Go Watch: Australian Senator Discusses An Oil Spill … ‘Some of them are built so the front doesn’t fall off at all…’ [via Back in a Bit]
13 August 2007
[couture] Notice in the men’s toilets in Chanel’s office: ‘Pissing everywhere isn’t very Chanel.’ [via Sore Eyes]
8 August 2007
[blogs] The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks … ‘Making fun of bad punctuation since 2005.’ [via The Daily Chump]
3 August 2007
[science] The Social Norm Of Leaving The Toilet Seat Down: A Game Theoretic Analysis … ‘In this paper, we internalize the cost of yelling and model the conflict as a non-cooperative game between two species, males and females.We find that the social norm of leaving the toilet seat down is inefficient. However, to our dismay, we also find that the social norm of always leaving the toilet seat down after use is not only a Nash equilibrium in pure strategies but is also trembling-hand perfect. So, we can complain all we like, but this norm is not likely to go away. All hope is not lost though…’ [via Sore Eyes]
30 July 2007
[drink] The Five Stages of Drunkenness … ‘Stage #1 — Smart: This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject. You know all and greatly wish to express this knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are also always right. And of course the person you are talking with is very wrong…’ [via qwghlm]
19 July 2007
[bbc] BBC iPlayer launch: The first 14 days — some predictions about what might happen after the BBC’s long-awaited iPlayer is released … ‘The Daily Express front page “Now Poles Steal Our TV” reports on how ‘hackers’ in Poland have managed to bypass the BBC’s GeoIP system and have downloaded and installed the iPlayer software on a computer in Gdansk.’
12 July 2007
[funny] A Google Map Plotting the many Gaffes of Prince Phillip … ‘You are a woman, aren’t you? – The Prince seeks clarification from a Kenyan lady in tribal dress back in 1984.’
1 July 2007
[iphone] Wait in Line like Everyone Else, you Traitorous Bastard — Fake Steve Jobs on Steve Wozniak … ‘He lifts my brand name and calls his book iWoz. Then he comes sniffing around looking for a free iPhone. Forget it, Captain Segway. Look. You did some nice work — back in the seventies. To put it another way, the last time you did any real work, Styx was still selling out arenas. Bokay?’
29 June 2007
[iphone] 29 June 2007: The Day the World Changed — Fake Steve Jobs rallies the troops … ‘To those of you who serve under me at Apple, I say this: Yes, I have berated you, and insulted you, and exasperated you. Yes, I’ve fired your friends for no reason, and made you work harder than you ever thought you could work. Yes, I’ve taken you away from your spouses, your children, your transgendered domestic partners. In some cases your devotion to me has cost you your marriages. You’ve sacrificed a great deal for this. But has it not been worth it? For the rest of your life, you’ll be able to say that you were working at Apple when the iPhone was introduced. You were here on the day when the course of human history was changed forever. Plus, you’ll get a free 4-gigabyte iPhone, at $500 value. Not bad, right?’
27 June 2007
[books] Henry Raddick’s Amazon Reviews — spoof book reviews on Amazon. Raddick reviews
God, Why Did Dad Lose His Job?: … ‘A truly wonderful guide which has enabled me to explain my recent sacking for vandalising company property to my children in terms of a minor act of redemption. First rate.’
[music] ‘Oh good, it’s raining again’ — Charlie Brooker does Glastonbury … ‘Once you’re in, the sheer scale of it is initially overwhelming. Imagine forcing the cast of Emmerdale to hurriedly construct Las Vegas at gunpoint in the rain. Then do it again. And once more for luck. That’s Glastonbury: a cross between a medieval refugee camp and a recently detonated circus. Roads of sloppy mud and drunken civilians shivering in tents; this is what London would look like if I’d been in charge for 100 years. Not because I’m some kind of laid-back dreamer, but because I couldn’t organise a piss-up in a pissery. It’d take me six decades to assemble the most rudimentary infrastructure. There’d be no museums in my London. Maybe a bin or two, at a push.’
22 June 2007
[quotes] Grouphug.us: ‘In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.’
14 June 2007
[usa] Judge Who Seeks Millions for Lost Pants Has His (Emotional) Day in Court … ‘Before trial began yesterday in the case of the D.C. judge who sued his neighborhood dry cleaners after they lost his pants, the most extraordinary fact was Roy Pearson’s demand for $65 million in damages. That was before Pearson, an administrative law judge, broke down while testifying about the emotional pain of having the cleaners give him the wrong pants. It was before an 89-year-old woman in a wheelchair told of being chased out of the cleaners by an angry owner. And it was before she compared the owners of Custom Cleaners in open court to Nazis. “I knew it: It’s all my fault,” said the reporter from German television who was sitting next to me.’ [via kottke]
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13 June 2007
[books] The Digested Read: God is Not Great by Christopher Hitchens … ‘The purpose of this book is not to prove God does not exist; it is to prove I am cleverer than Richard Dawkins.’
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